Life in the Headley Home has changed quite a bit from my last post. I haven't had time to sit down and share with you how our lives have become fuller. It has been a struggle to gather my thoughts, let alone put a coherent sentence together. And that's when Sarah Mae stepped into my life...again.
Sarah Mae came into my life through my college friend's wife, Mandy. Did I lose you? Hopefully you're still with me. Mandy reviewed Desperate: Hope for the Mom that Needs to Breathe. At first the title kind of threw me off. "Desperate?" I thought. "I'm not 'Desperate'." And then I started to actually read her mini-review. When she said,
Sarah Mae came into my life through my college friend's wife, Mandy. Did I lose you? Hopefully you're still with me. Mandy reviewed Desperate: Hope for the Mom that Needs to Breathe. At first the title kind of threw me off. "Desperate?" I thought. "I'm not 'Desperate'." And then I started to actually read her mini-review. When she said,
This book is for you on those days when you say, 'I just cannot be a mama today'.
I pretty much screamed, "YES!!" Those were and kind of still are some of my days as a mama. It was in that moment that I fell in love with Sarah Mae. So when the opportunity to join her launch team came along, I jumped at the chance. Me! A little nobody mom who barely floats her blog, was chosen to be a part of her amazing team. I not only jumped because of Sarah Mae, but because of the topic of the book: Aching for something more, yet choosing to enjoy life right where I'm at.
People, this is me! When life moved us here to Colorado, I felt like I lost a piece of myself. A piece of my Paris. I had things in order. I had direction. I may not have been enjoying my job, but I had a sense of purpose. And then when we moved, I lost it all. Becoming a SAHM felt like I was giving up every part of me, those dreams and desires I had as a full-time, working outside the home mom. I know being a mom, being a parent, means to sacrifice self for your family. But what about those dreams I had? How long would I have to put them on hold?
People, this is me! When life moved us here to Colorado, I felt like I lost a piece of myself. A piece of my Paris. I had things in order. I had direction. I may not have been enjoying my job, but I had a sense of purpose. And then when we moved, I lost it all. Becoming a SAHM felt like I was giving up every part of me, those dreams and desires I had as a full-time, working outside the home mom. I know being a mom, being a parent, means to sacrifice self for your family. But what about those dreams I had? How long would I have to put them on hold?
So when I began scrolling through the book, I prayed that the Holy Spirit would show me where I needed to focus. 3 things stood out to me, about me in this season:
1. I am blessed
Well duh! Right? Yes, I am blessed. I have an awesome husband, who's an amazing dad, and not to mention pretty damn sexy; I have 4 perfect little angels who are always listening and obeying (one can dream right?); and a Heavenly Father that so desperately love me -- in spite of who I am because He knows who I am. And sometimes, well a lot of the time, I feel like a crappy parent and a crappy wife. Parenting is hard because you don't always get to see the results of your awesomeness. So in those moments where I hide my ugly tears, where I want to run away, where I need my Father more than anything, He reminds me that I am blessed.
Matthew 5:3a -- "Blessed are poor in spirit."
Matthew 5:3a -- "Blessed are poor in spirit."
If you're at that point where you are desperate to hear Him, then you are blessed.
2. god cares about my dreams
I had so many dreams about what my life was going to look like married, married with kids, and as a career woman. A lot of these dreams have come to fruition, but the desires deep in my soul have been put on hold in my current season. My struggle has been wondering why I have these desires when they hurt so badly to even think about them.
And then Sarah Mae gently reminded me that GOD, yes, God put the very ability to long in my soul. This is one of His many gifts to me. The gift of vision. Without vision, we perish! Could you imagine having a mundane life with no desires, no dreams? What would we look forward to? Obviously God knew what He was doing by giving us this gift. He wouldn't give us something we couldn't use and He wouldn't give us something that He doesn't care about. He wants us to thrive. He wants us to plan and dream, but most of all, He wants us to trust Him with them.
And then Sarah Mae gently reminded me that GOD, yes, God put the very ability to long in my soul. This is one of His many gifts to me. The gift of vision. Without vision, we perish! Could you imagine having a mundane life with no desires, no dreams? What would we look forward to? Obviously God knew what He was doing by giving us this gift. He wouldn't give us something we couldn't use and He wouldn't give us something that He doesn't care about. He wants us to thrive. He wants us to plan and dream, but most of all, He wants us to trust Him with them.
3. I am perfect
Yup! That's me. Not. I'm far from the world's standards of perfection, but that's not the goal. I yell at my kids when they're all kinds of crazy, I get frustrated with my husband sometimes, I have bad thoughts about others, I'm a flippin' hot mess...BUT...I am perfect because of Christ. As Sarah Mae said, "No matter my weakness, I can walk confidently because of His power in me. How easily I forget about the Holy Spirit!"
Sarah Mae has so many more nuggets of truth that I would love to share, but I think my kids would love for me to make dinner. So I'll stop here. Apparently giving them cereal isn't an option tonight.
Longing for Paris comes out on August 4th, but you you can pre-order here. (**Hint: If you order today, you might get a SIGNED copy!). You can order from Amazon. Plus, if you want to grab some for your friends or small group you can get a bundle discount. And guess what!! If you have a group of 10 or more, email her to set up a Skype session!
Want to hear a little more? Check out Sarah Mae's video.
Sarah Mae has so many more nuggets of truth that I would love to share, but I think my kids would love for me to make dinner. So I'll stop here. Apparently giving them cereal isn't an option tonight.
Longing for Paris comes out on August 4th, but you you can pre-order here. (**Hint: If you order today, you might get a SIGNED copy!). You can order from Amazon. Plus, if you want to grab some for your friends or small group you can get a bundle discount. And guess what!! If you have a group of 10 or more, email her to set up a Skype session!
Want to hear a little more? Check out Sarah Mae's video.