Are we doing the right thing?
My man and I had discussed back in August 2010 that our son would be our last biological baby. And in September 2010, the "procedure" was done. That was it. There would be no more. After it was finished, a feeling of sadness filled me every month when the confirmation came that I would no longer be able to have children with my husband. I would sit there and let the tears come. Sometimes my hope of "reattachment" would put me so far over the edge that my body would THINK it was pregnant, but then mock me a few days later. I was filled with doubt that we shouldn't have done it.
*I know I don't fully understand what those around me may have or are currently going through when it comes to infertility, as this was a choice we made. So please understand that I do not intend to make light or disregard your feelings. I am just describing what I experienced at that time.
Several months down the road, we had tossed the idea of adoption around a few times, but we knew the timing wasn't right for us. We didn't really talk about it much and let it go.
Fast forward to September 2014, almost exactly 4 years later, it came up again. When we started talking adoption, I began to read Holley Gerth's You're Made for a God-Sized Dream. Here I realized that this was a God-sized dream because I knew I wanted more kids to love on and give them a loving home and family, but I had no idea how we were going to make that happen...and if I was qualified. It scared me because all the fears and doubts of me raising up another child, when I have doubts that I'm doing a good job with the ones that I do have, came flooding into my heart.
Before we even get started, we disqualify ourselves...What God cares most about is your relationship with him, your obedience, your ability to hear his voice ans say yes when he asks you to take a step of faith...God doesn't plant desires within our hearts to let them wither and die. Yes, they may be dormant for a season. And yes, when they finally push through the ground, they may look nothing like what we anticipated--but they're still possible.
He doesn't want you to be a 'me too' when it comes to your dreams. He wants the one, original you whom he created to do exactly what he made you alone to do. No one else can fulfill your purpose. No one else can make that dream happen. There is no plan B for what God has destined to come into being through you...You have what it takes to fulfill the dream God has for your life, and no one else does.