Last Tuesday my dad slipped on ice and ended up being flown to the trauma hospital in Seattle. He ended up with swelling and bleeding in his brain. Not cool. In 2010, he had a subdural hematoma which landed him in the hospital for almost 2 months. On top of that, his kidneys began to fail. In 2013, he had a kidney transplant. So as you can see, my Pops isn't in the best of health. And to have him go back into the hospital was nerve-wracking, to say the least.
I definitely became unglued. Anything and everything my dear, sweet Bean did sent me off the deep end. She had several late nights which made things exponentially worse. She's my mini-me. When we react the same way, friction occurs. I found myself in a pool of tears that whole week. Tears and prayer. Sometimes all I could muster was "Jesus. Jesus. Jesus."
I lived this past week with a lot of inside chatter. What am I doing wrong as a mom? Should I get on a plane to see my dad even though mom said not to? What if that's the last time? What did I do to make my daughter go all crazy, psycho on me? Why don't I have everything together? Will he notice my faults? Can I be a foster parent when my own kids are losing their cool? There was so much inside chatter that it was emotionally draining and causing me to disengage.
And you know what? My man called me on it.
And that's why I love him.
He called me on it, but spoke truth and held me accountable in an oh so loving way. He took that inside chatter and provided encouragement and love. God also reminded me to look at,
[W]hatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable -- if anything is excellent or praiseworthy -- think about such things. -- Philippians 4:8
How will you rest this week?