Those were the words I wrote to him. I forgive you. I didn't know how to say them out loud in the moment, but I knew I could write it down in our journal. This journal is a running dialogue between me and my man. There are words of encouragement, fun and exciting things that are going on in our lives, and now, unfortunately, hurts.
I just purchased some composition books and wrapped them in wrapping paper to give as a MOPs table favor to the ladies at my table. I decided to give these because I feel that it is important to communicate with your spouse. Some people are direct and can have open and frank conversations, others may need to take some time to put down their thoughts. Plus, it's just a really neat thing to be able to look back on.
God spoke to me earlier that day in my devotions, but little did I know that this is what He wanted me to do that day. On my YouVersion app, one of my plans is Simplify based on the book by Bill Hybels. That day's content was From Wounded to Whole -- Making Room for Forgiveness.
Sometimes we grossly underestimate the true cost of living with a relational rift. We think we can go about our lives unaffected by conflicts and fractures with people we care about; but this, of course, is far from true. Relational breakdowns extract energy from us. They take up head space and heart space. They hang over us like a dark, gray cloud....We cannot live simplified lives without attending to broken relationships.
For you and me, the power to forgive others starts when we experience the forgiveness of our own sins through the Cross of Christ and the transforming grace of God. When we have an accurate understanding of our own shortcomings before a holy God, it empowers us to choose radical forgiveness too.
Even at the worst moment in his life, Jesus forgave.
Colossians 2:13-14 says, "You were dead because of your sins and because your sinful nature was not yet cut away. Then God made you alive with Christ, for he forgave all our sins. He canceled the record of the charges against us and took it away by nailing it on the cross." Holy moly. Just let that soak in for a bit.
I am totally forgiven. We are totally forgiven. There weren't any stipulations that came with that forgiveness. Just utter and complete forgiveness.
So why wouldn't I choose to forgive my husband and best friend? I chose forgiveness because I wanted to start the healing process immediately. But just because I forgave the incident doesn't mean that the hurt isn't there. Trust me, I was practically in bed all day yesterday trying to sort things out in my head. But I knew that the hardest part of forgiving was done.
We are working on healing our relationship and I can honestly say that I truly love this man even more. I can look at him in the eyes and know that our love is stronger. Forgiveness and prayer are tools that we've been given in our marriage.
What if you simplified your life by offering forgiveness?