All of us have times and seasons in our lives where things seem utterly hopeless and it makes sense to cut and run.
-- D. Rolfe
I couldn't run any faster than I did that day. I didn't say goodbye to my three roommates. Horrible, right? I wanted out of there. I wanted out of the life I was living.
From 2005 to the beginning of 2006, emotionally, I was at my lowest. I worked 12-14 hour days, sometimes 6 days a week, just to make sure I met my numbers. I smoked just to get a break, drank more than a fish to numb myself, and played the field like no one's business. I used all these things to fill the emptiness. That's why I ran. That was my season of hopelessness.
I never thought I would leave San Diego. Besides the crazy fires that recently happened, it's BEAUTIFUL! You know what the weather will be like pretty much every day. You have the beach within 15 minutes driving distance (Because no matter where you're at in San Diego County, it ALWAYS takes 15 minutes). There are AWESOME views, fun attractions, AMAZING food (We're vegan now, but if you're not...you must go!), and beautiful people....EVERYWHERE!
But where I was going emotionally and spiritually, I needed to leave. So I ran, rather drove, and made sure there was plenty of space in between. When I arrived in Seattle, I sat there amongst my boxes and cried. The junk of my past just flowed out. I purged everything through my tears. It felt so good. This was the beginning of my fresh start and running to something even better.
When I got settled in at my new office, my desk mate was JXC; sweetest gal to work with. I hadn't gone to church regularly when I started college. In fact, it was pretty much non-existent. She invited me to her church for Easter Sunday. I walked in nervous as hell. Thoughts of "should I even be here" or "what am I doing" were shooting off in my head so fast, I couldn't keep up with them. I felt that since I hadn't been going to church on a regular basis, I wouldn't be welcome (more on this later). I made it through the sermon...alive. A little piece of me was filled. I decided it was worth looking into.
What have you run from?
Why were you running from it?
Where physically or emotionally did you go?