Click the image above to buy your copy of "Worth the Fight" today. Enter code worththefight20 for 20% off! | Do you have a “perfect” marriage? I do…not. But you know what? I don't want one. I want a marriage that requires work. WHY? Because I want to know that the marriage we chose is Worth the Fight. My Man and I promised ourselves to one another on September 1, 2007. We had a beautiful wedding at a little B&B in Wenatchee, Washington {the apple capital of the world!}. We honeymooned in Southern California and cruised around Mexico. It was a blissful couple of weeks. And then back to reality. Now to be fair and honest, we lived together for 3 months prior to our wedding. We had handled "married" life this long, what was going to be different after we said, "I do"? |
It's funny how 2 little words can change your life. The first year was a blur. They say the first year is the hardest. We attended weddings in October and November; both of which dissolved in less than a year. To have babies now or to wait. Baby on the first "try." Work travels. Night school. Travel to see family across the state. Early maternity leave with reduced pay. One year anniversary. Birth of our daughter. Throw in some snarky comments, why-don't-you-do-it-my-ways, and going to bed upset, but still touching feet...what do you get? Our first year of marriage. But here were are today. Married 6 years, 5 months and 3 days with 2 energetic, intelligent kiddos all because we decided from Day 1 that our marriage is Worth the Fight.
What Kayse Pratt brings to the table in Worth the Fight is short, honest and to the point. She doesn’t give you a way out. Marriage is messy. Marriage is “high maintenance.” Marriage is ________ (you fill in the blank). She reviews Commitment, Communication, Service, Laughter, and Sex. Kayse gives you challenges to think about and DO…yes, even have sex! It’s not a fix-all for your marriage, but it opens the door to a healthy, fulfilling, “high maintenance” marriage. Here I will share some of my little take-away nuggets.
What Kayse Pratt brings to the table in Worth the Fight is short, honest and to the point. She doesn’t give you a way out. Marriage is messy. Marriage is “high maintenance.” Marriage is ________ (you fill in the blank). She reviews Commitment, Communication, Service, Laughter, and Sex. Kayse gives you challenges to think about and DO…yes, even have sex! It’s not a fix-all for your marriage, but it opens the door to a healthy, fulfilling, “high maintenance” marriage. Here I will share some of my little take-away nuggets.
Commitment
Our marriage is a work-in-progress. Like all marriages, we have our ups and downs. We CHOOSE each other; Every. Day. As Kayse says,
Marriage requires commitment. Daily commitment.
When we first discussed marriage together, we said that Divorce would never be an option. The D-word would never come from our mouths, either as a threat or for a way out. We committed prior to our vows that we would be joined as one and be "chained" for life. Are there days that are much harder to choose each other? Probably. I don't always make it easy for him. I may not like what has been said or done, but I choose to love him and I choose to commitment to our marriage daily.
Communication
Recently we experienced some "marriage refinement" because we, okay...I really mean I, didn't communicate with my Man. When we finally decided to come together to talk, really talk with each other, we unknowingly used a form of Kayse's recommendation of reflective listening. For those of you that have attended couples counseling, it's apparently used there quite a lot. We cleared the air, drained my tear ducts, and reconnected.
Communication. It’s not just talking a lot. It’s both talking clearly and
listening well. It’s about grace and forgiveness and swallowing your
need to be right.
Communication isn't only with him, but also about him. I try my best to not vent about my Man, but sometimes, regrettably, I do vent. I don't do it intentionally to hurt him, but to receive validation for my reaction to the situation. Kayse has reminded me and fellow readers that our words, loving AND unkind, have a lasting impact.
Choose life. Choose to speak words of life.
Service
My Man is THE BEST when it comes to being of service to me. He sees my needs and takes care of them. If he comes home from a long day at work and sees that I'm frustrated with the happenings of our house, he'll tell me to get away and get some me time. He'll take over the kids and prep dinner. If he sees me sick, he'll take care of me. He's pretty awesome.
It’s hard to serve. It means we have to step outside of our own needs
and see the world through someone else’s eyes.
On the other hand, you have me. This is where my selfish tendencies flair up. I'm not a good nurse. I tend to get frustrated easily. I take offense that he isn't well or I feel put out that I not only have to take care of the kids, but him as well. Seeing these words hurts. I hurt knowing that I don't serve my husband the way he serves me. I hope he begs to differ and we are our harshest critic, but I know that I need to serve him the way he serves me. By far, this was was the most difficult chapter for me because it made me think about my service to him and how much he deserves me to be better for him.
Laughter
We like to laugh with and at each other. We play the occasional game, run around the house, talk and laugh. We love to get out {we can can. Still working on this babysitter thing...any takers?}. My Man and I enjoy each others company; ESPECIALLY FOOTBALL!
There are days when life gets stressful and we start to get snippy. That's when we realize that we need a date night. We so desperately need that time to reconnect, to step away and be us; together. The reconnection time for us is important for our marriage. It should be for yours, too.
There are days when life gets stressful and we start to get snippy. That's when we realize that we need a date night. We so desperately need that time to reconnect, to step away and be us; together. The reconnection time for us is important for our marriage. It should be for yours, too.
Playing together leads to laughing together, and laughing together
reminds you that you actually like the person you’re stuck with.
Sex
God made sex. Thank you Lord!
The church doesn't like to talk about sex. But sex was God's idea for us to be ONE. He created us to have needs and desires. He WANTS us to have sex. Still not sure about that one? Check out the series done by our pastor here.
As women, there are so many things that get in our way when it comes to sex; laundry, cleaning the house, the kids, work, etc. It makes it difficult for us to focus. Other issues like pregnancy, just having a baby, medication, or female sexual health issues will have some impact on a person’s sexuality.
Communication and foreplay are super important in a healthy sexual relationship.
The church doesn't like to talk about sex. But sex was God's idea for us to be ONE. He created us to have needs and desires. He WANTS us to have sex. Still not sure about that one? Check out the series done by our pastor here.
As women, there are so many things that get in our way when it comes to sex; laundry, cleaning the house, the kids, work, etc. It makes it difficult for us to focus. Other issues like pregnancy, just having a baby, medication, or female sexual health issues will have some impact on a person’s sexuality.
Communication and foreplay are super important in a healthy sexual relationship.
Communication is so important for couples to maintain and improve their relationship, both in and out of the bedroom. When partners share with one another, it increases intimacy and can create a stronger, more trusting relationship. Studies show that partners who openly communicate about sex have more satisfying sex lives and relationships. --Pure Romance by Kate Headley
Like Kayse, I won't go into details, but I will say this, sex is a very important aspect of our marriage. It is so important that we have set goals.
I don't want any married couple to ignore this area of their marriage. If you have any questions, please feel free to stop on by at Pure Romance by Kate Headley and email me as we have many products for your sexual health. Mention that you read my review and I will give you 20% off your order.
I don't want any married couple to ignore this area of their marriage. If you have any questions, please feel free to stop on by at Pure Romance by Kate Headley and email me as we have many products for your sexual health. Mention that you read my review and I will give you 20% off your order.
If you’re married, (barring any extenuating circumstances) you
should be having sex. Regularly.
I hope that you pick up your copy of Kayse's Worth the Fight today.